Wadham's World

So it's been a long time since I've posted, granted.  Children have been conceived, jobs have been changed, CDs have gotten done, and many other things have happened.  What, or who, could get me back in the saddle?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Dick Wadhams.

Wadhams is George Allen's campaign manager, and has turned the "art" of spin into a blunt instrument with which to beat the truth until blood comes out of its ears.  Dick Wadhams is impervious to the attacks of, say, the Daily Show, because his work is so outrageous and ridiculous as to transcend sarcasm.  I get better laughs scouring the Post for his quotes in the morning than I do watching Stewart and Colbert have at their victims.

This morning's examples are typical.  There are three Allen-Webb articles today.  (Although to be honest, the most depressing is the one that doesn't mention Wadhams, where Susan Allen relates the deep, dark, horrible story of her husband coming clean about his past.  Is he a murderer?  Child molester?  No, she learns, it's about pop-pop, his maternal grandfather.  Was he a Nazi?  A collaborator?  No, he was Jewish!  Dear God, the shame...)

The two money quotes from Wadhams:  On Webb's sudden fundraising surge:

"Liberal special-interest groups are rallying around the Hollywood movie producer and fiction novelist."

And on a mini-scandal, involving somebody who got fired from Al Weed's campaign for a southwestern Virginia House District who referred to Allen as "George 'Macacawitz' Allen":

"[The email] fits a pattern of anti-Semitic behavior [by the Democrats]."

Oh, where to start.  First, the code-words.  Webb is a Hollywood movie producer!  And a fiction novelist!  Well then, he's practically gay and Jewish!  Except that, oh, I seem to remember something about the candidate who's actually from Southern California being at a huge advantage in terms of Hollywood fundraising.  And that Allen's most recent fundraising report shows tons of money from groups that Wadhams doesn't think of as special interests... like the PAC of Allen's law firm (his single biggest donor), energy companies (Dallas was his fourth most lucrative metro area), and financial companies.

As for the second quote... well, it didn't take him long to switch sides of THAT fence, did it?!  Just last week we were cracking jokes about pork chops, and now we're carrying the mantle for Jewish Americans?  Please.

Let's put aside the question about whether Allen is a racist (short answer: well, duh), whether Webb is a chauvinist (short answer: well, do they let women box against men or play football? not yet, and certainly not in 1979).  The real question is:  What is going to happen to Dick Wadhams' soul when he dies? 

(Man... I made it all the way through without making a Dickwad joke.  Must control impulse... just a little longer... dammit.  Oh well.)