Indians with WASPy names

(Apologies for a rant coming on...)

So, I've been on the phone with United for a few hours over the last day or two. I'm trying to use a promotional certificate to take my daughters to meet their great-grandparents in Chicago. As you can guess, the whole thing is a royal clusterf*ck. But here's the thought that occurred to me:

Every single call I've made (between 7 and 10 at this point) has been answered by somebody who is clearly in India. Unlike a lot of people, I don't have a particular problem with that. Many people in India are articulate, well-educated, polite, and good English speakers, and the labor is much cheaper.

What I do have a problem with is the fact that names of the people I've spoken with, at least the times I've been able to hear them clearly, have been:

• Jean Johnson
• Jennifer Jones
• Peter Jones

This is just incredibly insulting. The tone of the conversation is set: United has no qualms whatsoever about lying to you, and they think you're a stupid enough person to be upset that the person you're talking to isn't an American. Even though that really couldn't be more obvious. (I mean, they're so polite!)

Now, I suppose there's another possibility: That these people have legally changed their names to get the job. In that case, the big cities of India must be teeming with freshly minted Ashleys and Stevens. Of all the things that America has spread through globalization, I never thought it would be our lame-ass names. Ugh.